Is there anything this stuff can't do?

Though Emma asked for a cheeseburger, I decided to just make lunch at home. We had a big watermelon that needed to be cut. So it, along with grapes, and a ham sandwich would make a decent meal. After cutting up one half of the watermelon, realizing that it there was much more fruit than I thought, I was left with a choice:

Wash another Tupperware container and cut up second half of watermelon.

or

Cover second half of watermelon, stash in fridge and let Britt take care of it.

Obviously it took less than a second to choose the latter. But after a few minutes it was apparent that I had not chosen the easiest path. I would try and pull the sheet out flat, but noooo, it had to wrinkle and would not tear. Try again, same result. Try again, Fail. Who the hell is responsible for putting this pathetic excuse for a blade on the lid of the box? Because I'm going to punch him in the throat and pee on his dog.

I had wasted nearly half the roll before I was able to get the right size sheet. A spotlight shone down on me from heaven and the angels sang, "AAAAAMMMMMMEEEEENNNN."

Perhaps this should have been written on the side of the box of plastic wrap:
If, by the grace of God, you manage to tear off a piece of usable plastic wrap, please note that this product is not intended to cover halves of watermelon. You are better off just cutting up the entire fruit.

Fortunately, I have duct tape. Is there anything this stuff can't do?