Hippies fear change...and soap.

Burger King has a new ad campaign where it takes the Whopper and Big Mac to areas around the world to show that non-Americans prefer the Whopper. This has caused severe distress, and addition mental disorders, to the Birkenstock wearing liberal hippy community who feel (they're always "feeling") that BK is somehow abusing these fast foodless people with, well, fast food. The bailout should include free one-way airfare for these aforementioned liberal hippies to France so they can live there happily and eat a Royale with cheese. I have always loved the Whopper. Maybe this week I'll treat my family to a feast of charred animal flesh in a bun? The only way to top a meal like that is if they let you shoot the cow first. That'd be pretty exciting. Wow, you could get a chubby, then get chubby. That right there is the American Dream!